Winner # 32 – Angels Guidance

Hello Earth Angels

Here is the 32nd question the Angels have answered in our promotion for July.

Bambi asks:

35 years ago I met the man who makes my soul sing and we wanted to marry. Because he is black and I am white, the society around us made it impossible for us to be together. He left and married a brown girl, making it easier for him in society, but miserable for him at home as it was a poor match.  But he is a loyal and dedicated man who honors his promises, so he has stayed with her all this time, dedicating himself to his home and kids.I never married, but had a child on my own and devoted my life to raising her and getting my u. She is now on her own and successfully making her own life, and I have my PhD and a job I love. Next month, his youngest is leaving the nest for college and he has realized how short life is – too short to willingly live in a miserable relationship. He has let me know he would like to be with me, but he has a process to go through to sever from his past. We are not in communication right now as that would only complicate things at his end. After all these years, he still makes my heart sing. I feel I have waited my whole life just to share it with him. But I have fears and doubts because I have no idea what is going on in his life at the moment, and I wonder if he is strong enough to basically lose everything (property, savings, respect from his children and community – these are the things he feels he will have to deal with.) and move on. This is his journey now, but I feel like I am holding my breath, which makes MY life very uncomfortable. Will he make his way to me?
Thank you for any insight you can give me about this situation.

The Angels reply:

Love endures and can withstand much. This is one of the most valuable lessons love can teach Earth Angels.

You have held true to your love. Your fears are because you have been given hope that you life of unrequited love  (in the everyday sense) is soon to be over. In the past you thought that this would never be possible.

Love always finds its own level – and clearly the love you share is still present.

You are right to leave time and space for him to decide and act and go through the consequences of his action. On the surface he appears to have much to let go of – but in his heart he knows the truth. He has learned that love comes in many guises, one type of love is not better than another it is just different. He will need time.

You need to focus on what is in front of you now – and for the present he is not part of your life, so you need to focus on what is happening for you, your current life, your career, your friends. Keep this part of your life going – do not live in a vacuum of waiting.

Your time together will come. Bless-sings beloved.

Bless-sings from the Angels

Melody

Winner # 25 -Angels guidance

Hello Angels

Here is the 25th question the Angels have answered in our promotion for July.

Joan asks:

I don’t know what to do about my spouse. We have been together almost 20 years
and my partner is more often than not, not in his power. This has manifested in, other than his career, if I don’t initiate, we never have intimate relations.
After much hope, hopes dashed, wear and tear this has deteriorated my emotional connection to him to a very small thread. We are not formally separated but I am in my home town with our children under the auspices of helping my elderly father and we have bought a house here vs. expensive renting so we do plan to stay a while.
 
I know I am not ready to make any decisions i.e. sell our house where he currently resides, him finding a new job here etc. we are several hours by plane between towns.
I am deeply overwhelmed with the thought of more change as we have uncharacteristically moved several times in 5 years for the sake of adventure and his work.

My teenager is really missing her father at present and I feel ready to cave to this sadness in her demeanour and we know he could easily get employment here, yet I am not ready to live with him yet, if ever. I know it sounds messy, but I know you know life can get complicated.
I would never regret having my children, but it goes back to our wedding
night when he did not initiate, nor seem interested in intimacy.  I did not understand this and we have been on a path to rectify this for many years.  As I am now post-menopausal and my body has changed our relations together have almost stopped.
His mother was sexually abused as a child and on and on and on and I am certain he is not gay. I have been on a spiritual path for many years and created well in many areas of my life but for this, I truly do not know what to do any longer.
I do love him as a friend; will always, but we are spouses, not brother and sister.
I appreciate any help you can relay.

The Angels reply:

 

Dear one – thank you for this question, it is more common than you think.  Your pain and confusion are plain to see in your email.

Firstly, we must begin with ourselves. All of your focus is on your disappointment and resentment about his failings and his inability to satisfy you on many levels. While we understand these feelings and how easy it is to make him and them the problem it is time for you to take responsibility for what you are feeling.

You are only prolonging the situation of uncertainty by focusing on other things more important to deal with than how you feel (we mean your father and daughter here).

It is an interesting rule of the universe that when we focus on what we are lacking we tend to get less and less of it in our lives. You are spending time seeing where your husband lacks. How can he be more fully the man he is when he is aware of his constant lack in your eyes? You have shrunk him to incompetence and he has become your creation. In a sense you are loving him in a reduced way – not in a full one.

If you wish to maintain the relationship you will need to do the following every day until you see change. These points made here are to be applied to both of you. Start by acknowledging you and then him in a journal. In time you will be able to do this towards him directly and openly and with a loving heart.

  • acknowledge all that is good in you and him
  • do this on a daily basis
  • release your resentment of the past
  • relase your resentment, anger and disappointment in you and him
  • practice forgiveness of you and him
  • discover where you feel reduced and unloved
  • allow him to love you the way he can without judgement and in gratitude
  • be grateful for all he provides in your life
  • see him through new eyes of love and care rather than judgement and disrespect

If you think there is nothing you can salvage in your relationship than do the above exercise for yourself and think on this:-

All this time you have been learning that love can be expressed in many different ways over the years of your marriage and also that for you – you still need to experience intimate lovemaking that is concentual and passionate. This is perfectly natural to want this more – especially as you do not have it your life.

It is like an open sore for you that will not heal. In your eyes you have done everything you can to reach your husband and find this passionate man within him. He has not shown this and it is time for you to take responsibility for what you need. If you are wanting more but cannot find it within your marriage you will need to search outside. We know that this pushes every button of fear within you because you do not want to be responsible for breaking up the marriage and appearing to be the one who is the selfish one. But can you not see that by creating distance between you with the current situation you are already creating the opportunity for this break in your marriage to happen?

You need to be honest with yourself first.

What do you really want?

You are afraid to name it and stand by it. This is your opportunity to do so.

We might add here that you are teaching your daughter to be dishonest with her feelings, because you are showing her this through your actions – so please do not stay in the marriage for your daughter’s sake. Children are very quick to understand when they are being used as the sacrificial lambs in a relationship.

We want to affirm – Yes if you make the choice for your needs above the others in this situation there will be fall out – but we might remind you that fall out is already happening by holding on and pretending.

We are seeing a lot of confusion in relationships and we wish to clarify this by saying, let go of what you think the roles of man and woman are, let go of what you think a loving relationship is about – these set ideas and beliefs are blocking Earth Angels from experiencing the fullness of love. Accept that you may be in a relationship that is not like others – and this is so – it is your relationship not someone elses!

The most important thing that Earth Angels have come here to learn and experience is LOVE. In all its permutations and expressions. If the love you are experiencing brings both partners equal joy then it is a beautiful thing to see, keep and treasure. Sometimes that love is for a long time and others it is only for a moment. All love will be known for the time it is meant to be. Each moment of love is a chance for the receivers (i.e. all parties) to be transformed into greater understanding of themselves and the power of love.

We hope that we have let you understand that we are not here to judge you – it is Earth Angels that judge themselves,  not us. We want only what is in your soul’s best interest allowing you to choose love above all else and offer our thoughts with total love and respect for you on your journey. Blessings beloved.

Bless-sings from the Angels

Melody

 

Winner # 24 – Angels Guidance

Hello Earth Angels

Here is the 24th question the Angels have answered in our promotion for July.

Elizabeth asks:

My husband is currently dating another woman I feel I have lost love for him yet he has to parent with me 3 little ones. How do I deal with the anger, resentment and fear?

Angels reply:

Dear one – Betrayal is always a very bitter act and emotional experience and we are saddened for you, your children and your husband (he is going to feel the effects of this so much longer in his life than you, dear one).

Betrayal can mask any love that is felt and so we are not surprised that you are feeling you have lost love for him – love and trust are so intertwined in a loving relationship. 

For the present we wish you to focus on you and looking after your children. We would like you to be able to find some time alone on a regular basis and preferably in nature. Nature (walks on the beach, bushwalking etc) will support you through this and give you the comfort and space to experience and express these emotions of anger, resentment and fear. We also ask you to connect into you, to where you have betrayed yourself by putting yourself last rather than first.

Earth Angels misunderstand when we say put yourself first, they think we mean  be selfish, we do not mean that. We mean you can not love others from an empty pot. You need to feel love for yourself before you can love others and give to them unconditionally. You have put everyone before you and so those who love you are doing the same. Of course with three little souls to look after we know that is easier said than done. We are not suggesting you stop loving and caring for them, we suggest that you make a small amount of time daily for you – and you alone. A space to nurture you and connect with us. Many of the things you do are taking longer time because you do not have our assistance – call us in to help you – your load will be lightened.

Remember beloved that you are responsible for how you feel, not your husband. So think not on revengeful acts or retribution. Think on learning to love and respect you and your time more fruitfully , and look after your dear ones. Bring in as much help as you can, be that from friends, family or professionals. You are not alone dear one, we are with you. You will find over time that this crisis was the beginning of you knowing you better and feeling more loved than you have ever felt in the past. Blessings, beloved.

Bless-sings from the Angels

Melody

Winner # 15 – Angels Guidance

Hello Earth Angels

Here is the 15th question the angels have answered in our promotion in July.

Gauri asks:


My questions for the angels are: have I met my true love/partner in this life? If so, then how will we finally come together? What vocation will give me enduring financial abundance and fame?

The Angels answer:

Dear one, we can hear the questions tripping from your mind the way a child dances excitedly when the time for a party approaches!

We draw your attention to this to remind you that when you ask questions quickly like that without spending time listening to your guidance you can sometimes feel disappointed with what happens. When you slow your questions down and focus on one you give yourself a greater opportunity to allow us to answer in more depth and enable your next step.

Of these three questions, the first two are the most important to your journey right now… and so it is these we will answer.

Earth Angels do not ask the right questions around this topic of and relationships at all! It is not important – is the person the one, the right person for me? T

These questions reflect your doubt in you! The doubt often in your mind that is at war with what your feel and know in the core of you. Instead ask these questions:

Does being with this person bring me joy? Do I feel enlivened by having this person in my life? Am I learning, growing and developing my capacity to love? Is life filled with colour when they are with me and grey when they are not?

If you can answer yes to these questions then the person is right for you in the now and that is all that matters. We need you to be happy being in the now, not constantly trying to recapture the past or project yourself forward to a time you hope will be better. This not living now in the love you have already created makes for a very unhappy now and future.

Love (and relationships) is not meant to be difficult and convoluted. Love is a beautiful thing to share together. If both of you feel the other brings you the most joy then you will naturally wish to gravitate together and experience life together.

If you are feeling doubt about this person then ask yourself why (journalling will help here). Why are you in doubt and fear? What is it about this person that makes you feel the way you do? When you get the answer – as in – s/he makes me feel ……… (what ever emotion it is) when they do ……..(their action), then you have the beginnings of the discussion you can have with yourself, your fear and us – and together we will get to the place of centred acceptance which will allow you to make the tight decision.

If you are in a relationship that is abusive or negative then you must let go and walk away for your own good and that of your partner. Walking away is the sign that you have come to love and respect yourself more than be needy of love.

Love is all around you beloved, you do not need a partner to know yourself as love and love. Connect with us more fully and you will understand more about this. Blessings beloved.

Bless-sings from the Angels

Melody

Winner # 7 -Angels Guidance

Hello Earth Angels

Here is the 7th question the angels have answered in our promotion for July.

Melissa asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for about 7 months and this weekend he suggested we move in together. It was a shock (in a good way) to be asked and I said “yes”! But now I am not so sure. Is it just nerves or is there something wrong with the whole situation?

The angels answer:

Dear one, this is a big move for you and you are right to want time to think about it seriously. You are still living at home with your family and this decision will mean a discussion with your family about moving out. Your family are traditional thinkers. They expected you to leave home to get married not to live with a man. This is the biggest stumbling block to you acting on the ‘Yes” you have given. You do not want to disappoint them and it is important that you consider them in this. What has really happened is your boyfriend has said ‘ I want to make a committment to be with you, I care deeply about you and I want us to be serious enough to be monogamous and committed to sharing a life together.’  The questions you need to ask yourself seriously are 1) do you love him? 2) do you really want to live with him in a committed relationship and why? 3) are you willing to risk your parents disappointment to find out? 4) Do you really enjoy this man’s company and would you do so day by day, every day? If you cannot answer a resounding YES to every question then it is not the right time for you to do this.

Beloved it is perfectly ok to take your time, there is no need to hurry. We see this a lot in Earth Angels this sense of I must do it quickly, I must rush. This is a sign you are in fear or worried you may miss out. There is no need for this. Savour this love, enjoy the moments, enjoy where you are right now, be filled with gratitude that you are experiencing this love right now … Love is something to marvel over, to embrace fully and enjoy. If you do this you will find the right answer for you. Remember we are always here with love beloved.

Blessings from the angels

Melody